What would you say if a child came up to you looking sad?
You will reach out to comfort them. Instinctively, we know it is “not ok” to feel sad. It is kinda hardwired. I bet most of us have been conditioned to believe that feelings such as anger, sadness, and frustration are “not ok”.
And I will admit that I have been quite taken by “The Power of Positive Thinking”.
For a long time.
And this is what I have learnt.
Fear is a faithful friend. It is always with us. It is what keeps us safe. It will never go away. It is also the reason we may get angry, sad or frustrated. So if I am really mad, I know that something important to me has been taken away from me and I fear that I will not get it back.
Fear serves another purpose that is hugely powerful. I believe fear is omnipresent so we can fly.
Remember when you got that really BIG WILD idea? Fear was probably right beside you, saying…
“Oh, now that is stupid.”
“You will never be able to pull that off”
“People will laugh at you.”
Know that thought? And I am sure you would have learnt/ read that we could just replace that with “I can do it”.
There is another way. Which is to say, “yeah, it does sound stupid. I may not be able to pull it off. And yes, I may fall flat on my face.” So who can I talk to about this idea? How can I take this forward?
And the most important question to ask yourself is “Why is this idea important to me?” “What about this idea is getting me so excited?”
The answer to that question is the secret held deep inside you that drives everything you do, the choices you make and is that light that guides you telling you what “feels” right and what “feels” wrong.
It is your closest friend. The one you sit beside when they are sad. Just sit. Listen. Hold hands. Treat your fears as your friend. They are.
When you feel sad, mad or just plain frustrated, imagine your friend has arrived. Do what you would do with a friend. Sit with them. Listen. Let go of your judgment for a bit. Go outdoors. And wait until your heart opens up and you understand why it is.